"Why Spider-Man Reboot will Suck

First: Sony is repeating the same problem when they cast Tobey Maguire as Spider-man. Andrew Garfield is too damn old. He's 27 years old playing trying to play 15 or 16 year old. All the makeup in the world isn't going to make him look like a teenager. Even when the tried to de-age Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan it looked fake.

We (the audience) overlooked it the first time because nobody ever brought Spider-man to life so damn perfect. The last live action Spider-man took place in the 70s and when he would shoot out his too obvious silly string canister web shooter it would cut scene to bleached white netted rope being thrown from off camera on to the bad guy. To date its the cheesiest incarnation of any superhero and I have found a lot.

By hiring Andrew Garfield there saying in all of Hollywood there isn't someone under 21 that is talented enough to play Spider-Man. I ran a search as I was writing this and came up with over 20 possible candidates but only about 10 realistic look like they could pass for 15. Off Topic: What the fuck does Hollywood do to these kid to make them look so old?

Second: By rebooting the series are we going to see Green Goblin, Sandman, Venom and Doc Ock again or are we going to see other villains from Spider-Man rogue gallery. If you're not bringing back these then the rogue gallery starts to get thin. There are reasons why these are classics Spider-Man's villains.

Third: Audiences are tired of seeing the same cheap crap coming out of Hollywood. If you're going to reboot then find someone who knows and understands Spider-man. I want someone who going to give me what I love about the comics and translate that bitch to live action.

Find the middle ground and go from there. Look to the 'Ultimate Spider-Man' for inspiration. Bagley and Bendis invigorated that muth@fuck@ and made me want to read comics again. That's what I want to see from this reinvention. I want the essence of that comic on the screen not some Hollywood fucked up bu11shit version. Ultimate Spider-Man: TAKE IT, READ IT, REINTERPRET THAT MUTH@FUCK@. If not its going to suck and I'll be skipping it.

"Mister Eleven"

Michelle Ryan
Sean Maguire
Adam Garcia
Denis Lawson
Lynda Bellingham
Olivia Colman
Nicholas Burns
Preeya Kalidas
Jocelyn OSorio
Nitzan Sharron






Unrated           88min           2009




British TV Romantic Comedy starring Michelle Ryan (NBC's Bionic Woman) , Sean Maguire (The Class and Eve), and Adam Garcia (Coyote Ugly). Michelle Ryan played Saz, a woman obsessed by numbers. She has read that most happily married women are wed to their eleventh sexual partner and as the film opens she is walking up the aisle to her Mister Eleven... or so she thinks. At the reception she bumps into a former sexual partner she had a drunken one night stand with, however he informs her that nothing happened so Mister Eleven is really only Mister Ten. (imdb reviewer: tweekums)

“Mister Eleven” is a British romcom. If you don't like the British sense of humor then you're not going to like this one. I think the conflict of this newlywed couple is more realistic than most American film. The mis-communications between these two could happen in real life and escalate just as quickly.

Instead of feeling like a movie “Mister Eleven” felt like I was watching a television show. All the characters had conflicts going on in their lives, not just the major conflict of the newlyweds. It was like you're viewing these people for a certain time. You came, the went and conquered.

It's great to see Michelle Ryan in something since NBC canceled her show and she went back over the pond. I think NBC didn't give the show a chance to build an audience. If you give “Mister Eleven” a chance I think you will like it.

I give “Mister Elven” 3 out of 5.

(500) Days of Summer

Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Zooey Deschanel
Geoffrey Arend
Chloe Grace Morentz
Clark Green
Rachel Boston
Minka Kelly









PG13           95min           2009


When his girlfriend Summer (Zooey Deschanel) unceremoniously dumps him, greeting card writer and hopeless romantic Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) begins sifting through the year plus worth of days they spent together, looking for clues to what went wrong. As he recalls the good and the bad times he spent with the commitment-phobic girl his heart reawakens to what it cherishes the most. – back of movie cover

“(500) Days of Summer” is an unconventional story about love and not a love story. The story didn't feel fake. The acting was amazing and felt organic. The non-linear story telling made the difference.

The story felt real and could happen to anyone. I could relate to these characters. I found that I could see facets of my personality and others around me in their performances.

Eventhough the title sequence says the story is fabricated, its indeed based off one of the co-writer's relationship with a Jenny Beckman, may or may not be her true name. This made “(500) Days of Summers” even more fascinating for me. He even showed her the script and her reply is priceless too.

The non-linear story telling does several things to make the viewer invest in the film. Each scene has a title card telling what day in the relationship it is. As it jumps around in the relationship it makes the viewer have to really concentrate on the action of the film which at times is confusing. Which brings it to the next point, you will have to watch “(500) Days of Summers” at least twice to totally get the big picture of the relationship.

“(500) Days of Summers” instantly became one of my favorite romantic movies. Gordon-Levitt hasn't disappointed since seeing him in “Brick” another one of my personal favorites. Deschanel has a quirky sexy appeal that runs in her family. “(500) Days of Summers” is a must see if you are a fan of either one of these actors.

I give (500) Days of Summer a 4 out of 5.

"American Pie: Book of Love"

Bug Hall
Kevin M. Norton
Brandon Hardesty
BEth Behrs
Melanie Pampalia
Jennifer Holland
John Patrick Jordan
Louisa Lytton
Sherman Hemsley
Curtis Armstrong






R           93min           2009



When Rob (Bug Hall), Nathan (Kevin M. Horton), and Lube (Brandon Hardesty) discover the sex bible left behind by their being predecessor at East Great Falls High Schools the libraries quest for landing babies continues as the desperate virgins set out to score the big homerun. But with the well-used and hallowed manual worn and missing some pertinent information, the boy's mission to lose their virginity is one hilarious mishap after another.

What started as one of the funniest American Pies in the series after an hour devolved into one the most bland and unoriginal of the series. “American Pie presents Book of Love” turns into a cliched male comedy. Another redeeming quality was that Alfalfa is the lead in this film.

Book of Love is started out amazing with some original ideas, like Lube and his overactive imagination or the mishap adventure from the incomplete book. Each were unique and brought funniest to this adventure. They gave a new twist to an old horse that's almost beat to death.

Then after a hour Book of Love just feel apart. Everything that made the first hour funny is replaced with the cliched male comedy. What puts it over the top is the sodomy of a male character. Even if the animal was computer generated. That should have been the first clue that they were pushing the envelope too far.

“American Pie presents Book of Love” has so much going for it and Alfalfa as the lead is one of them. Channel surfing I saw “The Little Rascals” on ABC Family and I wondered what happen to those kids, then I watched this film and at first I did place his face. Then I remembered his name and it clicked. Alfalfa is ALL GROWN UP. Still breaking all the rules of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

I give “American Pie: Book of Love” 3 out of 5.

"Avatar"

Sam Worthington
Zoe Saldana
Sigourney Weaver
Stephen Lang
Michelle Rodriguez
Giovanni Ribisi
Joel David Moore
CCH Pounder
Wes Studi
Laz Alonso






PG13           162           2009


In the future, Jake, a paraplegic war veteran, is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na'vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture. Written by Giorgio_C on imdb.com

As I started watching this film I realize that I had seen this film. It wasn't until I was half thru the film when I realized that it was “Dances with Wolves” with a scifi twist. This is an interesting film with amazing acting. I enjoyed the special effects immensely.

But “Avatar” a story that lacks the same imagination as the special effects. The story takes most of its major plot points directly from “Dances with Wolves.” I not saying its not an interesting story; its just that at the length of 162 minutes it can be a bit taxing to watch. The first two hours is mainly plot development of the three major plots running through the film. The last forty minutes of action is worth the wait.

The special effects that are displayed will bedazzled you. It took James Cameron ten years for technology to catch up with his vision for “Avatar.” I think that the special effect were worth the wait. They drawn you into the story.

Even with a weak story, the amazing special effects, the acting also makes “Avatar” a must see. The emotions that are captured helps you get lost in the film. He come to see the Na'vi as a people and forget that humans played this parts. It's going to firmly puts Sam Worthington on the map for those who didn't see him in “Terminator: Salvation”. He's poised to make his mark on Hollywood with his next major blockbuster as Perseus in the remake of the classic “Clash of the Titans.”

I give “Avatar” 4 out of 5.