"Tracks"

Chris Gunn
Ice T
John Heard






R           86min           2004

The true story of a suburban teenager whose one mistake leads to a life changing punishment. Peter Madigan, a 15 year old from the suburbs commits a senseless act of violence, causing a commuter train to derail killing the engineer.

In a controversial decision, Peter becomes the first juvenile in New Jersey state history to be sentenced to serve time in a maximum-security adult prison. While in prison he becomes interdependent and friends with correction officer Clark (Ice T). “Tracks” is the ultimate story of survival and redemption.

Although it tells his true story it was a little on the dull side. The characters were never truly flushed out. It does give their motivations but they characters seem wooden and hollow. Even after going to jail he seem to never learn his lesson until the very end. He reformed and found redemption but failed to help his love ones on the outside.

I don’t know how much of “Tracks” was dramatized and how much is authentic. The ending of this film was unsatisfying. It left you to figure out what happen to him and everyone around him. It left many questions unanswered and felt like it was a film rushed into production.

This is a bare DVD with no special features. It has movie previews for “The Contract”, “The Black Widow”, “Cherry Crush”, “The Far Side of Jericho”, “Kovak Box”, “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saint”, “The Breed”, and “The Dead Girl”.

I give it 2/5 Gs.

"Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions

Larry the Cable Guy




Unrated           66min           2005


He has sold millions of comedy albums and DVDs, and is a two-time Grammy nominee. He was part of the hugely successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour, which generated three hit movies, multi-platinum-selling soundtracks, DVDs, and a television show, Larry is a New York Times bestselling author and a movie star (“Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector”, “Cars”, and “Delta Farce”). “Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions” was recorded live at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis and features all-new material. – from back cover

This is “blue collar” comedy at its best. Larry the Cable Guy brings the humor with a common mans touch. It’s so quick and witty that sometimes it will fly past you. He takes about situations that everyday people face all the time.

“Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions” is a comedy routine that shouldn’t be missed. If you are a fan of the “Blue Collar” Boys then you will be a fan of this DVD. He’s at the top of his game hitting a wide range of subjects. It’s definitely one of the best from those “Blue Collar” Boys.

The DVD is an hour of stand up routine performed by Larry the Cable Guy. It has little in the way of extra features; only a behind the scenes of stuff leading up to the recording of this performance. It has a preview for “Delta Farce”.

I give it 3/5 Gs.

"Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector"

Larry the Cable Guy
Iris Bahr
Bruce Bruce
Joanna Cassidy
Brooke Dillman
Tony Hale
David Koechner
Lisa Lampanelli
Meoyn Price
Thomas F. Wilson
Joe Pantoliano

PG13           90min           2006

“Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” is Larry the Cable Guy’s feature film debut. He brings a truckload of one-liners to his role as a big-city health inspector, happily going form greasy spoon diners to low-rent ethnic restaurants. But his easy-going life turns upside-down when he’s teamed with a stiff, stright-laced rookie partner (Iris Bahr) and assigned the biggest case of his career: investigating food poisoning at the city’s swankiest restaurants. While running up against a hardnosed boss (Tom Wilson) and the shady Mayor (Joe Pantoliano) and an unscrupulous restaurant owner (Joanna Cassidy), his bad manners and unorthodox methods cost him his job. Larry is forced to go undercover to bring the conspirators to justice and “Git-R-Done!”

This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. I give that Larry the Cable Guy has funny “blue collar” humor but this was a waste of film. I want the time that I wasted on this film back and I can never get it. How does one get a disaster like this film made?

“Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” is a train wreck from the very beginning. The only glimmer of light in this film was that it was full of Larry’s humor. This film is what happens when you try to tale a comedy routine and turn it into a movie. The story is absurd on a level that I have rarely seen.

This is a film that you rent or buy at your own risk. If you’re reading this review then you have been warned. If you have watched the film and are reading this, then apologizes to you. To Larry the Cable Guy PLEASE next time a script comes your way read it first and visualizes the final product.

I give it a rating of “End of Days”

"Havoc (2005)"

Anne Hathaway
Bijou Phillips
Shiri Appleby
Michael Biehn
Joseph Gordon-Lewitt
Matt O’Leary
Freddie Rodriguez
Laura San Giancomo
Mike Vogel
Raymond Cruz
Alexis Dziena
Channing Tatum

Unrated           92min           2004

“Havoc (Unrated Version)” is about two friends who are done with playing it safe. When Allison (Hathaway) and Emily (Phillips) leave their rich suburb for a joyride through East L.A., they glimpse a frightening landscape of drugs, violence and gang brutality. Nut as their fear turns to infatuation, the friends find themselves seduced by a dark and dangerous world – where a pretty girl can get anything she wants… except a second chance.

Having seen a preview in a previous film I didn’t expect to see so much of Anne Hathaway. This is truly a departure from the squeaky Disney image. She showed that see could handle more mature subject matters and was ready to graduate from the children films. Although at times she does seem to be uncomfortable with unexplored facets of this role.

“Havoc (Unrated Version)” is a caricature of what would have happen but illustrates that there are worst things to fear than the boogeyman. Situations in this film are too easily solved or left open to the viewer’s interpretation. I think that it placed too much emphasis on the sexual nature and not enough on the characters development. It illustrated situations too black and white.

Even though it does have flaws it does what it set out to do…be entertaining and be a sort of cautionary tale. Showing that even with the sophistication of teenagers today they still have things to learn. Although they can emulate the “Hollywood” street life, the real life street is much more dangerous, complicated, and complex than they can imagine.

There are only special features for a DVD-ROM drive. It has movie previews for “The Purifiers”, “Refuse 2 Die”, and “11:14”.

I give it a 2/5 Gs.

"Children of Men"

Clive Owen
Julianne Moore
Michael Caine
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Charlie Hunnan




R           111min           2006

In the year 2027, eighteen years since the last baby was born, disillusioned Theo (Clive Owen) becomes an unlikely champion of the human race when he is asked by his former lover (Julianne Moore) to escort a young pregnant woman out of the country as quickly as possible. In a thrilling race against time, Theo will risk everything to deliver the miracle the whole world has been waiting for in “Children of Men”.—from the back cover

Changed in many aspects from the book, the film is easier to follow than it was to read. It shows a bleak outlook to humanities future.

There are many changes from the book to the film that changes the tone and message. Many things in the film are toned down and dulled. Much of the bleakness of the book has been changed to warring instead. In the book they used refugees to do manual labor in the film they are rounded up and put in containment camps. I found the film much easier to face than the book.

“Children of Men” shows a bleak future that is a real possibility. If man does change his habits in the industrialized world we could bring out this future and countless other possibilities. This is just one possibility told in the form of fiction. It’s a terror state that I never want to be alive for.

Having read the book first I knew what to expect. This is one of the first movies that I prefer to than the book. I’m not saying the movie is better than the book in fact its just the opposite. The book though is a mundane read but it hit on many political and social commentaries that are left out of the film.

“Children of Men” has several featurette explaining the different aspects of the film. ‘The Possibility of Hope’ is a documentary by Alfonso Cuarón on how the themes relate to the modern world. ‘Under Attack’ breaks down the dangerous scenes in the film. ‘Theo & Julian’ discusses with Clive Owen and Julianna Moore’s about their characters. ‘Futuristic Design’ looks at the director’s vision of the future from concept to its creation. There are a few deleted scenes.

I give it 3/5 Gs.